LOVE.... LOVE AND ONLY LOVE.

                   "Happy are those who have brought up the love. Happier are those who have earned a shape in their love & Happiest are those who own their love."       
    Stupid right?  Obviously these 3 things are entirely different. Anyway am not here to write the whole storyboard right now.
There are certain moments were you feel loved. Only on repeating 'I LOVE YOU' is not where you feel loved. There are few small gestures and moments that brings butterflies in your stomach.. Even some long texts, fast replys, coming up long way to see you uninformed, teasing and troubling you to core are just a "very few".
Seriously for me just small small things really matters. Even the smallest bye at few times just makes me fly in heaven and sit thinking about it fors hours cutting and screwing myself in the day dream.
Since i am quite "Imaginative", i just create a high core drama sequences out during the dreams. Sometime i end up creating a fascinating trip/journey together,  tie up some future scene. Plan the upcoming & so on which are incredibly funny. And all upon this blushing goes up for about 1000 KW. Everything is just so fruitful. Am in love with idea of the trip together, just not because thats that romantic; i see them with another eye, which is full of fights, non-stop blaberings & all. I go on and keep on talking about everything one after another, and he be like "Bas kar meri maa, khuda ke vasthe bas kar" ( just keep quite for the sake of god) And the playing some random song in the car deck, lipsing with it, being dramatic and masti.
So see here i am thinking of something that is definitely not going to happen. Still whats wrong in tieing dreams. After all it is the LOVE THING. Its this 4 letters that defines the universe.
My mom most oftenly says; you see her husband, how soft he is, how caring and loving he is for his wife and her family. Will any newcomer in the family would do such great things? He is so big at heart & so on. And with a signature dialog, "how can someone like you get a good guy? See, she was that smart and loyal and so she got such a guy who is pure & diamond, and now look at you....."
Since i dont give shits to these blabering all; i do is thinking, will my guy be so good enough?  So that days and years after people would still praise as they do now for others. Whatever being with your spouse around gives an extravaggent thing in you, even if it is your day dream. Think of some days when your partner would flirt with you in front of childrens and grand childrens in your old age. That is the perfect relationship goal. The perfect couple goal. The perfect one to last longer.
Cheers to all love and love longs...❤

Dated: 5-8-2017
Isha💙

The Unreal Me

You people know that i have posted the last few blogposts too late, Like after a long time. Even i didnt even get a chance to scribble. Sorry for making you people wait for long. So much of stuffs where going on with me. Many things that have bought new experiance. The real sip of being independent is what i took about half a spoon.
The months that passed where half fully of stress & tension, And where as the second part full of excitements, fun and everything. I am sure that the second part would no more come around with me again. It was truely an extrafabulous time. And again the months have arrived presenting the boredom, weirdness & same 2 rupee routine. All in these am the one who is pissed of so much. Where everyone is busy kicking their asses and working up a lot. Where as am the one who spend 75% of the day on the bed laying, sleeping and leaving the time behind.
The most of stuffs that happens with me are tough and with elastic ends. And ends up questioning myself why me? Things never goes well. Am tired of complaining myself. Even there are people who have 1000× times bigger issues than what i have; still i feel i have retreated from everything.
I try being unique. But ends up plagiarising and copying others. Lack of creativity and ofcourse confidence. Still i want to maintain the "U" thing within me. So i one has to deviate in each and every minute so as to stay away from the commons. But when you are being pointed out as you are one among those, all it feels is that you have lost your battle. The sound arouse loud inside as no i am the only one among the millon. Prep you fight. Let that be your motto. The million would turn the billion away.

Dated 5-5-17
Isha💙

Flavours of Independency

In my last post i said about headache. Being an headache to others literally a burden, a kind of unretarded responsibility. This always happens when you have to depend upon someone for something. May be you dont want to be depended, but its your surroundings/situations that makes you helpless and needy.
The worst part in it is accounting with things related to it. For each and everything you do, your retrieve is counted, each thing is blabbered and repeated. So independency is the one that everyone wish that particular stage of dependency which often arises btwn 14-25 yrs of old.
Either you speak less about me or mine would be much higher.. SPEAK-LESS. This is my policy. This blabbering is certainly the most unacceptable thing in the world.
I have mine to open and this never shut untill you get things back in. And i seriously dont wish to open it out. But sometimes things go wrongs and be the fault that you dont wish to utter.
I seriously dont love this surrounding. I know am blessed with certain. Still, for the way i am; I am at the peak of adjustment, at the peak of dependency. Once this knot gets tighter and tighter, it would break, it has be! Probably no one can fix it. The flavours of independency is always lovely. Once you take a sip, you would let the cup down.

Dated 15-3-2017

Isha💙

Some Curses are like..

Have you ever heard someone cursing you? Perhaps a hater/enemy would curse you and you wont give a shot about that! But what if your nearones? What if your family does that.
Giving a curse isnt a big deal for you when you do that! Like its a method to get you down in a existing frustration at a particular moment when you are really mad at them. Its a kind of instant adrinaline rush that makes you speak those words which may or may not be effecting that individual.  When you are being called as a good for nothing,useless or like bitch you wont go/grow good and list goes on;on the things that are under the curse catagory. While hearing these there may not be any change in you, but the change occurs when the speaker is one near!
Ooouhchhh...! It hurts like hell...
Eh..err! sorry that was about my headache.
Neverthless; just due to my sleeplessness.
Since we are saying about headache,
it is of 2 type:
1. The kind of pain you feel it under yourself somewhere near cerebra, cerebellum or medulla oblangata
2. And another is the pain caused on someothers head because of you, or literally the so called being the headache to others.
I seriously hate the short tempered people, coz no one one what the hell that man is going to say in that short amount of time (sometimes i even include in that catagory). These short tempered are those whose makes these quick curse. Never know if that is going to be on your head or not. But still this is an ultimate thing that exist, never know where does your denstiny gets you on.
Dated:13-3-2017

Isha💙

My BLUE Love💙

May if you have noticed the overall look of this blog something you'd feel fishy; Right a bluish thing all over...
Uhhh! BLUUEEE..
My Love, Or My craze over this colour is immense starting from the clothes i were to the wallpaper of my screen defines my Bluish favour.
I never knew when i did fell for, it was an accidental thing(as every love thing). I know most of the girlish girls prefer pink over things, and a usual saying that blue is for boys all the time (childhood blunder).  Here is were i stand as lone wolf lol. I am and i was never such a girlie stuff haha! Stood as the tomboy always. What ever colour placed to me whether i see million different textures only blue takes my eyes off. This craziness is never explained. Whatever things i chose,if it  has a bit of colour in it, there will be a blue drop of mine always.
If anyone see's me continously for a day or more, they will surely notice the blue thing outside my mouth *wink*.
Living in blue..
Love with the colour..
Its textures wont end in this wide and vast eye..
I wish it never end.....

Unveiled bdays be like..❤

Once in a lifetime you meet someone new;
Who comes into your world, totally out of blue.
Everytime i blink, i see glee
So here for that knight in shining armour,
That one who brought the sunshine on the darkest days, even gave a few of those and blistered like the star above;
To the soul, who washed out to be loved
Making the gem glow
The pearls shine;
Let The Candles Blow,
       And bliss never end, here i sing
                   HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Yea its the bday, And probably not that big glory shine all over. Not everything is mend to be the spoonfeeding. With the long games of hide & seek, The only bluff are those endless night we spoke. The distance isn't 10 min, now that its traveling miles apart in each and every min by min. Tbh blaming never see its best. Even when i know demands are exccesive and unessasry. Yea kid; Nothing more. Its all because i cant share those with anyone else but you. Even with good heart, congratulation as you grow older...💙

Humble as ever! But Aware of my value..

I'm no one to tell you that you should love me, i mean hell what do i know anyway.. the world is so fucked up. Everthing and everyone is so damn cold and shutdown. Maybe I'm a fool for thinking i can love me back but that doesn't change what i feel for you it doesnt change what you mean to me. I may not know anything at all but if  i know one thing its that what i feel for you is pure love nothing else but may be you'll never see that perhaps the world has killed your heart like all the others and when you see me i'll just be another passing face in the crowd.. i dont know anymore. I cant tell you to love me, i cant force you to feel the way i feel for you..  all i can do is write it in these words and hope that reading them will make you somehow feel the same.. its hard for me to let go of something i know could be so fucking beautiful, Such a work of art in this dying place we call home.. its hard for me to let go of you because i know what could you be to me; i know what i can be for you and i see all the solutions to all of our problems and it again starts with this love.. but then again, who am I, I dont know anything at all and i'm no one to tell you that you should love me too..
#echoesofmyheart #isha'spoetry

GOODBYE SPEECH FOR YOU..

Maybe this one be an essential thing somedays right?? A goodbye speech! Damn i dont know why do i think about stuffs like this. I seriously dont want this so called 'speech' to be happened, but i cant insist. Even i prepared it for someday when he would say- "I know its late.. we had so much dreams & promises together. But now its time. I dont see a future together. Lets end it up.....!"
I dont know what would i say at that time. May be i would take longer to retain my conciousness. perhaps i would say-
"I did know some days this would happen. Before you go let me say something to you..
I dont want to wither out all the memories right now. But trust me we seriously had good times together. Yea we dreamt, made promises, we had bit small & cute fights and a lot more. I seriously had a much good time. Beleive it or not, i never know if i could ever love someone as i loved you or like someone else would ever come in to. Even if that happen that person won't  be worth up to you. You were my good, better and the best. And no one could ever replace you. I cant explain how much i love you; how much i did.. in a pretty small time. I dont even know how all these happened even though i know-you were not of my type. You were the extreme opposite of what i was. A complete mirror image of mine. Just too much opposite stuff. We used to say; Opposite attracts.  May be some destiny was also included in these stuffs. You were not the perfect one. But the imperfections in you have made me fall for much of the time.
You just said we dont have a future toghether. Yea we thought about it for all the time at the first & at this late time, i dont know why does that bothers so much.
You know what, who ever knows me have always advised; just have less intensity, make it less seriously so that you dont have to regret. But all the wordings have never influenced me. Even for once i never decreased my love. May be the so called "intensity" have increased in all these times..
I never had a dream, in which you weren't present. I have never seen me in future without you. I have always wanted you to be mine. I have always wanted me to be yours, whom you be proud of. But today i respect you that you have been brave. May be you have grown. I respect. May be you had a struggle inside yourself all these time. May be just because of me, you have been caught by all these stuffs. May be i have blamed you for so much time when i did feel lone, when i aggrieved your ignorance and all. Trust me that wasn't intentional. Just was my love for you that made me up with those. Even i had stuffs like 'Unloving' sort of things felt with me, i have tried to be strong & think from your point of view. I wont blame you or hate you ever (How could i do that??). Just i wanted to say sorry for whatever i did, that you didnt like me doing or hurted you for long. I do apologise. And yea I dont want you to forgive me because that doesnt make any differenc in us. Sorry if i troubled you in any way or the other.
And i should thank you for bearing me for long. For accepting my stupidity,those foolishness,those stubborness and all. Lot of times you may have felt the anger towards me. Thank you for being quite at that times. I always said you have the complete right on me. I should say you haven't misused it or even you never used that power at all. I'll always be greatfull to you. No matter how much you hurted or you made me cry or just break down within my knees, these have never been a matter & i always did overcome with these. And that was only because of the "LOVETHING"
Again thank you.. Thanking you for so much of stuffs. Even you have been with me for small time and some other time when i needed your comfort you weren't there, for which i would definetly thank because all that have made me even stronger. Thanks for all those memories that you literally lended me for some time that i would never forget nor ever i'l be able to. Thank you for your precious time that you spend out for me. Thank you for those beautiful love texts and the chats which would always be close to my heart. And Thank you for all those small and big things. I never know what i would have been without your shadows. There was never a day without a thousand million times you crossing my head & mind. Its the nature that said anything wont last longer.
I dont know if its too late or too fast. All i know is everything is going to change for me. From now maybe no waitings, no daydreams & nothing. Things are going  to change. I dont know what and how  the things are going to be. It has left so much of scars and marks in me that is not going to be healed so fast. I wont say that i would miss you or i would remember you. All i do say is those bundle of sorrys and thankyou's.
Inbtw of that so much of disimiliarities you tried so hard to make me myself. You didnt know about me so well, may be you never tried. Yea something was inbtw us. And finally i would like to say that you were the best thing that ever happened with me. I have wished that no power in this world should try to seperate us; untill this day.. 
Youll never know how much i loved you, how much i adore you, how much did i admired you, so did how much i wanted you and today i dont know how i am going to move on. But trust me am strong i am not broken. I have my wings. I'll try to fly much harder. Lets check out what the almighty have planned. May be something good is waiting to come. But let me clear it again, you were and you are the best. No good can compare up with you. Wish me good, Thats all you can do. Just dont forget to take my sorry's and thankyou's with you. I'll try to retain my heart that you stole..."
Too big thing right.. Its my uncontrolled tears that made too time to scribble & some stuffs got inside. And today when i right this, nothing is on its way. The count of my tears that flowed out is immense. I can't imagine a day that i would seriously face it. Just i dont want this to happen. And i cant imagine myself in a mood swing because of the nervous breakdown. I dont think i wont be able to handle it. Since Imaginary part is these much hard, reality would be more sucking sour..

You know what..?? Huh... You Never Know...

I always keep saying that time changes, people change. I think this should be announced as the universal truth. I keepon catching my ears through my backhead right?
Been struggling to figure out few things. I just get many miscilaneous stuffs, hints and examples. Damn am not that well built psychologists to figure it out. I never understood. Better, you never made me understand.
You know what..? Each day a million times you cross my head. A thousand times i wish to see you and talk to you. A hundreds of dreams i tie up for the future together, may be one in those billions is what i dont miss you..
You never know.. I had no dreams in which you arent a part. Those days when i feel lone, disturbed, deep inside thinking about you like why arent you talking any stuff. I use to sit alone in darkness; probably night, thinking all these & it drive me out like mad. Then i start to whistle and murmur bolly songs most indicating heart breaks.
I am the one who feels avoided when you dont talk or be attentionative and for next moment even a smiling emojicon can bring me back to dance on a "bangda". You can call me possesive, insecure or whatever. Because most of the time i feel unloved, or like "avoided" one. It isn't that long distance, then why dont you be so closer. Why dont you make me feel special? Like why dont you make me trust like heaven? Why dont you respect the so called "relation"?
Am seriously afraid of loosing any bit of you. I know it is difficult to maintain something for long. I am grownup so you are. It is just a matter we can handle by speaking up not more than an hour. If you dont wish to be in a commitment. Its absolutely fine. Its your choice. So that you can decide. But as a part in those points just informing and convincing would make it more easier to handle. Some things do come up with a label- 'Handle with care'. one of those thing is a relationship. If two peoples are reliable in a relationship, it is must for both to know decisions and marks taken in accordanc of relation.
I can never explain how much you mean to me. I must say; I want to be yours, each moment. But the thing is that what i feel is that you just remember me in some sort of time. After your leisure stuffs. May be in the left free time you have the time. If that time is unavailable a day there is no question of thinking about me.
Even sometime my head buzzes saying- he has gone, like forever. May be someone has caught in his eyes or like he wants to end it up. He is just fedup of my drama's. All this come because of my lack of trust.. yea i know this is of my fault. I dont have that trust on you. This is just because because you never made anything for me, that is worth of my craving will on you.
Even if someday you left me alone, you are never going to know how much you mean to me. How much i starved for your commitment and words. Like am sure  i'm never going to get someone like you. And will never love someone as i loved you. Cause you taught me the do's and don't in a promise..
Love you..💙

Dated 28-2-2017

Bae As Your Valentine

Had no rose day, no kiss day, no choclate day & non of any cheesy stuff. Just had normal hard scheduled wednesdays and thursday.
Surfing through my instagram, i could see some maddies posting story's saying- "yeey.. Its choclate day. So who's gonna give me choclates today.." LOL. this is what it happens most of the days, for more of the peoples. You are not sure about your valentine needs and seeking approval from the concerned.
For me valentines day is the day for those who love. Its their day. Its not about the histry, myths or anything. But a day essential to flavour up the love and to nurture up the fragrance. Have that sip of love with the tears of chears because your love have won the hearts and say to each other.. yea.. we did it... ❤
Dated-14-2-2017

Not Every Wishes Fulfill..

Have a count on things that you wish for everyday..!  Like when you see an old choclate wrapper a kind of wish comes to you to grab it for real and flick the hunger in that right moment.
See those are the wishes you make, something you want or something you want to happen. So these are about the wishes.
Does your every wish get fulfilled. I guess 90% of it are utterless.  Just a few may come true that too by coincidence.
Now think about your dreams. Whats the difference btw a wish and a dream. I requote a famous quotation by Dr.APJ Abdul kalam- Dream isn't that you have in sleep. But that which never let you sleep.
When i say, i have a dream; that dream always fly in my head, Every moment i think about it. But wish is thay which stays for a moment or two.
Sometimes the wish you make at certain wrong time may go nd fly, that turns out to be your dream. And that left undone just leaves you in lot of unhappiness. So wishes can really be bad at times.
If a wish you make has gone wrong or that left undone, it doesnt make sense of blaming on your fate. Its not your fault.. Nothing in this world can go right if every mens wishes get fulfilled.
Its fine on having some serious wishes. But think of its practical side. Even we believe on the myth of "Nothing is impossible". But when your dream doesnt come true. Then be drake, its only because of your fault. You can blame others. But not on your fate. Its just that your lack of intimacy towards that dream.
Wishes and dreams are a small part of your big life, where one can go wrong and another can't. Its your destiny, your lifelongs..  happy life is on the vibe you acquire.....
Good vibe ☺

My Relationship Status 💑

Now it has been about 15 months though i have been in a relationship. The way i have got in my relation was extremly different. Everything was different from the normal. No dates, No calls, No pranks, No partys & So on... So i say it wad different. I would rather say 'Unique'.. The thing i use everywere..
Even we both wanted to flirt with each other, things turned out Ice. He was throwing a ball to try his luck and i was the basket that kept changing the position. Finally both stood still & the ball landed safely in the basket.
In the begining things were cool but not that smooth.. we were like ok now we are in a relation what next..! What do other couples do when they get into a relation? Since both of us was a newbie in a serious relationship but still had the thing had inside..
So we there we never knew where to start, how to keep on and all the stuffs.. primarily we always had short talks & small love texts at the end of the day.
Later on it went on cute.. the moments where you cant stop blushing which comes without a knock. Bothering about eachother, having each other as the top most priority, waiting for text and the so called "madnness" was stuck.. And So we where LOVESTRUCK💙
The colour blue always had a key role in our love things... i love this damn colour soo much and so do him... 
We saw less, we never met. Even if by chance were as a trespasser. In the total tym of 1 nd half yr of knowing each other we never met our eye for not more than 10 sec. Unique in its way right. We never had  long late nyt chats everynight, we never hungout. Still the immense love was there somewhere. We would have special dates virtually which would mean a lot. And days would pass by & things were straight on the plain graph.
Then later on few things mattered up & things went so cold. I had spent lot of night weeping under the pillow.. lone at nights staring at the beams of light crying all the heart out & cursing myself for falling for him..
Almost a round off of 3 months, i could only view a blurred image for were no things were clear. Figuring out was even much difficult.. Those days were full of worst nightmares.
And later i was convinced. But still the days were haunting me.. Each time my head keeps on reminding about those nyts. But here heart took ahead of head.. Strange right, your head and heart never agree one thing. Both have different opinion. And then on am following what my heart has to say..  Since then there has lot of up and downs.. may be the downs for the most.
Figuring out the things seems so difficult. Since things are virtual i never know the insidiness inside. What ever happens my love forsure is genuinly true. Things matters so much for me. Love is all bout sacrifise and adjustment... where am going on with the things.. I never know what are faults i make, things i do or dont. I dont get know what i do wrong in his sense... because he never say..  he never react on things..
The prime thing i see about is we still are'nt that big friend thing..  A good friendship has never peeked into our chapters..
Love is not only about romance, dates,kisses & making love. Well am the clear evidence overhere.. They say Love is about understanding, care, trust and what all... i never saw such things And i scribble these much of verse on my love.  I go round thinking is this LOVE Or may be like what the hell is this Love. But i guess this is my headwritten thing to have a so-called love.  In case someone had specially designed and carved out only for me. Only i know this things and thereby future depends only on him; he & his way, his direction & his directions. Currently i can never think of having anyone else excpt him...  Even if there be an end i dont have things left for anyone else.  Am drained out.. 
My Relation is yet incomplete. A big fill up space is blank which is yet to be filled..