Final Destination

FINALLY, "That" phase also left..
And Officially SINGLE again.
I must say, that move was sooo badass. Seriously kid, You unfollowed (well that doesnt even matter) but following up with that you blocked! Changed the relationship status. You literally deserve the WORLDS MOST COWARD AWARD. (Yaayy! CLAPS)
Really, were you so afraid of keeping me in Or keeping up with you?  I never knew that i bothered you that much. Well thanks for clearing up my dilemmas.
I cant even stop laughing up inside me. But as an ideal heartbrocken girlfriend i must be weeping under the pillow. But you act made me helpless that am laughing my guts off.
I really have a hope that we would meet again someday, with some face included. Trust me i am going to ROFL infront of you.
Was that even a ghosting, may be a slow ghosting (LOL) I guess! But did you really have to do that, to prove me that you have cut all the flicks. As if i dont have any other ways to look up for you!
FUNNY... FUNNNNY....FUNNIEST....!
Such a gut core coward.
Tbh I loved you. And to be noted you were my first love, somewhere i thought it may last, But it didnt. Where does even the teenage stories goes! During the last days i didnt even wanted you anymore. But the "First love" sentiments had caught me. That was the only thing that pulled me back & made me not do the ghosting stuff. And also i wanted to be around. Or else i would have done it long back.
I haven't regret upon it, Upon you till this day! But you made that happen. Do i lack something? NOT AT ALL. I am all the eligible one, The complete one. Now you are so incomplete and lacked. Am sure somewhere a kind of guilt pursue's you all over. I hope you enjoy the disappointments and guilt. And one more, i won't wish you any more birthdays . Seriously You blocked me??? Huh.. Lol.. That was funniest ever.
Well i felt good to know that i even bothered you. I hope you die' on single begging for some love from someone or everyone. You bastard can't love anyone and ask for love. Nothing is for free in this world "beta".(That's gross i guess. SORRY)
Sometimes you need to ask for it or work on it to happen. Everytime it won't come to you normally.
Now what about me. Well i would defenetly say you were something good happened with me so far & Everyone needs a part in life to overcome and fly up.  You made that even possible. Some kind of heartbreaks are must for a strong soul. And it helps you have a good lessons on life. I already said so much thankyou's and sorry's.  I don't want you to comeback again for love. Stay away. But i would defenetly love to hear from you on somedays & to laugh at. You are good. Sorry! correction, you were good. So go, let's move on together somewhere. Still with the hope that we would have a talk on somedays. Wishing you some lucks and all the extreme lucks for me.

An Insane Rebirth

"An Insane Rebirth"- didn't i powered up a little with an electric goosebump across my body while scribbling the title? I did it bro...
From a complete shattered human to picking each pieces of the part that broke into pieces down right up fixing it back to normal had been a long journey. Let me say,
Life just got entirely changed. Nothing of the my routines are same. None of the wishes remain the same. My 'Entirely' is meant a picture perfect "Entirely".
Caught with a new irregular routine, away from all the media kidoos, and yea! New wishes, new dreams, new perspective of life.
Well am trying to improve my vocabulary too, but i think grammer is up with the savagery( heeyyoo! My vocabulary just got level up)
Can you feel the pump of my blood? Because I feel it in. Great, like before in times when i take pen to scribble out something -meaningless- i would be sitting up in the chair, elbow placed in the table board & hands supporting head which is tilted almost 45° towards north, biting and chewing the pen for long untill i get the next sentance. But now this is literally great. I guess am doing really well.
No people around, no much of commitment to worry about, no one have given you a fucking schedules to follow. An irregular and incomplete days. At the end of the day, thinking, what are the shits that you have done today?- "meaningfully nothing".
It took no longer to understand what am i for real. And with no surprise though, it really had a bad part of mine. A real piece of shit which was dirty enough. Though it last for very few moments, may be not more than 10 min. I know how much worse things and thoughts it comes up with. Even those few minutes be a kind of nightmare for the rest of the day i have. Regreting for those minutes i had; thinking "i shouldnt have done that", repends a 1000 times later, but next day i eventually go for those mere 10 min again.
Why few minutes? why didnt it lasted for more time, like an hour! I thought it later when i repend upon it. I found it why; because i didnt want that part to either happen, i give up too fast. And nothing fascinates me for more long. I get over with few things easily.
Now what about the other part? Still unclear, about what makes it quench the thirst?
Bucketlist and wishlists are getting longer, every coming days intrests upon things are lost and new intrest comes up. New goals, new urges, the whole perspective of life have turned the tables. From one who given travel goals to giving thumbs up in relationship goals. I have messed up seriously.
This is not the me. Am i supposed to be this? Never know. Now things are going to be sorted. Clearly giving end to rubbing thoughts. Cling upon yourself.

Lost in a nightmare

I had so much time, literally that was more than enough which on utilising wisely could have been the turning point of my life. But what did i just do? 
Nooo.. Look at me now! Completely shattered and lost. Where is my time! What now?
All these time, hell wasted. What all i could have done with those "time".  What left is nothing. Just nothing.
Even though i knew that if i wasted all the oppurtunities i had, i was going to be screwed, i am going to regret it again and again. And thats what i am doing right now.
And all along no one around to whom i can completely wither out. Like am the one who is completely hearing cursing and having all the sympathetic outviews.
Now, Today. I have nothing with me. Even I Think, Why am i leading a meaningless life? All good for nothing fellow. All the bad omens inside me giggling and laughing at my worst. How worst and bad i am.
What all i do is logically illogical things. Completely hopeless me aside. I wanted to give all the shit out of myself, like burn my asses off till i get succeed, but now everything is out my hand. Nothing left. I understand now, who is the master! They are not the one who kicks his ass overnight, but those with that extrapower. That extrapower is in the one compiling of planesheets made of woodpulp. Ultimate masters.

Dated- 13-8-2017
Isha💙

Isha ki shayariyaa😻

💙▪ "Har Ek Pal Pe Barosa Hein.
Bas Shakh Hei Uss Pal Ka, Jab Dil Ki Dadkan Adhoora Ho Jaayega Aur Manzil Nazar Na Aaye."

❤▪"Shayad Shayari Usi Ka Ho Jo Dil Tootne Par Bi Jodne Ka Koshish Kartha Hei,
Apni Jubaan Par Aaye Mohthabon Se."

💙▪"Dil Toota Hein Par Zid Nahi,
Zubaan Bandh Hein Par Gayaal Nahi."

❤▪"Patha Nahi Kab In Khayaalon Me Soothi Jaagthi  Rahoongi,
Bas Intezaar Hein Us Din Ka Jab Saari Khayaalein Asliyath Me Badhal Jaayega."

💙▪"Suna Hein Dard Har Kisi Ko Kalakar Banaadhetha hein, Kisi Ko Leghak, Kisi Ko Kavi, Kisi Ko Gayak, Aur Kabhi In Sab Ko Abhinetha Bhi."

❤▪"Jaise Andhere Ke Baadh Roshni Aathi Hein,
Waise Hi Akelepan Ke Baadh Bi Ek Raah Aatha Hei, Jis Pe Har Roshni Se kai Zyaada Roshan Juda Hein."

💙▪"Nafrath Hein Mujhe Hamdardi Se,
Dusaro Ki Dhaya Se.. Katwaatha Hein Kuch Kar Dikaane Ki Hosle Ko,
Bas Samajlo Mujhme Dhamm Hein.
Zaroori Nahi Hein Aapke Diyaa Hua Dhaya Dhaam."

❤▪"Jab Jab Mein Thuje Yaad Karoogi Mein Muskuraaungi..
Aur Jab Jab Mein Muskuraaungi Thume Yaad Karoogi..
Bas Thune Mujhe Mukkamal Kar Dhiya."

💙▪"Dar Nahi Hein Koi Bhi Khayamatho'se, Kyunki Guzri Hui Kayamathon Se Badkar Aur Kuch Aa Hi Na Sakhthe.."

❤▪"Zindagi Ek Mazak Hein..
Haso Ya Na Haso Bas Khudh Ki Marzi."

💙▪"Aaye Hein Iss Duniyaa Mein Kayi Logho ki Dhaya Se, Par Jaayenghe Zaroor Unke Duaaon'se."

❤▪"Theer Chalaane Vaaale Ko Kya Patha, Kaunsa Dard Mein Vho Maasum Guzar Raha Hein"

💙▪"Aasuen Bi Badi Kuthi Cheez Hei, Bin Bulaaye Aa Jaathi Hein, Bin Kahe Beh Jaathi Hein."
                         💙▪ ❤ ▪💙▪ ❤ ▪💙▪ ❤ ▪💙

The Cheesy'est BDay Wish😭

That was the time when i was in Love-"Truely, Madly & Deeply". It was his first bday with me being in a relationship. And that was like after 10 months we got in to the "Commited tag".  To be exact, he approached me right after 3 days of his previous birthday, ie his 17th. I didnt even know that such a person existed in the universe until that day. Then things were smooth and rough here and there, all in all, one after the another.
I wanted to make his birthday a little more memorable than anything that would happen in the year time being. Since it was a "Long distance relationship" I only had the option to text him the wishes. So i tried it in my own way. I wanted that 60 seconds of 12.00am to last an eternity. For about weeks, All i was thinking about was what i could do. Finally i got a script of my plan, made a excuse with him and stopped talking to him(a typical cheesy lovers plan) likely a week before his bday. But that failed very badly. So on the night i had to wish, I got a manuscript of what all i was suppose to wish and include in it. So i was done all prepared thinking what if he have slept early, (he had a very bad habit of sleeping early even at 10) and that included a backup plan too.
Now that it has been 1&half years, Since that day have passed. Recently while i was checking my old rugs, i found the book where the manuscript was present, And thought of scribbling it out here. It kind of make me laugh right now reading it out, As it has become Sooooo Cheesy by this time. Obviously it was during our first "honeymoon phase" in our relationship. But am sure that day he must have been the luckiest and happiest one in the world (well he approved it by himself to me)
Having my Face in my palms, I'll let you read it, may some LDR works better here after ;)
As the Minute hand struck 12, This filled up his notification bar and slight after seconds in his heart and mind :)

"Whats special about today? Donno... i got up 5 minutes ago & was thinking why am i awake at this late night and texting you.. is something special today?
I guess i need to meet your mom right now, you wanna know why? Its because she gave birth to my handsome pie on this day an 18 yrs ago.
Which means, omg... My Baby  is 18 yrs old.
Just old nothing much, you are still my be_bae ever.
CELEBRATIONS... My Boy has turned 18.  So how should i wish you? May be like "Happy bday to youu.. happy bday to youu"
Or should i wish like "Happy bday to my bestest dear, my dear, my love, blaah blaah blaaahh.." Naah. Everything seems to be very old fashioned.
Let me try something new!

Baby... Happy birthday my lovely cutie pie. I Can't keep a bit calm on your bday. I want to make this day special as this is your first birthday with me.
You have been always with me since this day from then. I want to love you forever and ever i wish. You are such a special gift  someone have ever presented me.
And i insist- I LOVE LOVEE LOVEEE LOVEEEE SOOO MUCH MORE...
Almighty has gave you entry to this world for me on this day. Babe its your bday and i have nothing to gift you today.
If i had a genie with me i would have come to your home, hug you, kiss you and wisper a loud happpy bday in your ears. Last but not the least a cute small "i love you" too.
Firstly i thought about sending an audio of mine wishing you,then i thought why i spoil your year with my crooked  voice.
<media>
For sure am going to surprise you like this someday. Am bit out of mind that i couldnt do it today.
And babe, you are not a kid anymore, You are 18 from today for an year.  So grow up. You arent mature enough to handle me out, and you know the weather these days is bit too romantic that i couldnt resist thing about you.
I dont know how lucky I am to get this fellow as my future hubby. Each and everyday i fall in love with you again and again. May be it is boring for somepeople to fall in love with same person so they switch, but for me you are damn a new person each time i fall in love with. 
Am sorry for zillionty time, That i behaved weird for about a week. Actually that was a plan failure and indeed a punishment for you.
I thought about not talking to you till your bday, but i couldnt help myself and hence ended up it up in 3 days. Its goddamn hard not talking to you & acting it out.
Again am sorry if it hurted you. I never thought in my dreams about hurting you. I feel am bit cruel now. You were indeed great by not talking to me for months back then*(long time back). Never in my life i think i could do it. Even i got sick and everything came out of my limits.
Huh..  my fingers and keyboard are too sticky, they get attracted so much when the chat head shows your name.
*(backup) You most probably be sleeping like a baby now. So when you wake up on this special day, i wish you would see my text than any of others. I just want to wish you a best happy birthday that you could get in this world again. You might me smiling reading all this, if not then better have one. Because you smile is damn hot. Gosh! You'll be reading this in the morning right. So have a very special Good morning...
And just to remind you- I LOVE YOUU TO THAT FREAAKING MUCHH❤ "

Luckily he wad wide awake waiting for me to wish, So this was my wish that i sent out that b'day night. Well i skipped a 100s of emoticons in between.But I still feel cheesy but this one is very special for me. I am not sure everything in it have remained as it is.. somethings have definetly changed. What is that, that remains for long? And that night continued with lot of things together. I made it memorable. As for me its still valued.. Not sure about his.
Imy